PVD Psychological Associates

  Julie Herzlinger, LICSW Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker I earned my bachelors degree in Sociology from the University of Pennsylvania. Following several years working in NYC, I then obtained my masters degree in social work from New York University in 2007. I have worked in a variety of clinical settings including community mental health centers, youth programs in under-resourced communities, nursing homes, clinical programs for individuals with dementia, and private practice. My pronouns are she/her/hers. https://pvdpsych.com/julie-herzlinger-licsw/

  So You Think You’re a Workaholic? Now What As is the case with many behaviors that have an addictive pattern, workaholism is reinforcing, and so you may feel you benefit from the behavior and have difficulty recognizing that it is problematic. Especially in our society, where achievement, independence (as opposed to a relational focus), and work success are very highly valued, success at work, being a high achiever, and taking no breaks… aka workaholism, can be particularly difficult to recognize and/or want to change because the behavior and results of it are, in many ways rewarding, and positive. However, workaholism can lead to problems in relationships, negative physical health consequences, and mental health problems such as increased anxiety and irritability. Often, you may not recognize that you are behaving as such or that it is problematic. Once you realize you are a workaholic, it is important to try to find more balance in your life. Perhaps there is a reason you are a...

  It can be difficult enough to move on after a breakup, but when there is an established dynamic of continuing to contact your partner (and vice versa) after the relationship ends, this can turn from difficult to toxic. These types of contact can be hurtful and confusing, and ultimately prevent you and your ex from being able to process the break up and move on. In some instances, when there is repeated contact post-breakup, one or both of you may be fishing for some sort of reaction. For example, you might text your ex because you are still angry and trying to provoke them and continue to argue. Another instance might be repeated bids to get your ex to reconsider the break up. If this type of thing is happening, establishing a “no contact” rule for a period of time whether mutually agreed upon or not may be helpful. It is healthy to be able to recognize when a relational dynamic is unproductive or harmful and to set boundaries in response to that. Sometimes once the “no contact” ...

  10 Tips for Parents with Eating Disorder Histories to Avoid ‘Passing it On’ to Their Children Eating disorders and body image concern are unfortunately very frequently intergenerational, or passed from one generation to the other. We can presume that some of this is due to biological factors that predispose someone to having an eating disorder due to certain personality traits like being overly conscientious or perfectionistic or being more impulsive or more anxious. However, an eating disorders is in very large part determined by environment and learning history, and these are also the only aspects a parent can control when it comes to helping their child avoid developing an eating disorder.  According to the cognitive behavioral theory of an eating disorder’s development, it is brought about by an internalization of a thin ideal, perfectionistic standards, and the idea of having more control over one’s body size and shape than may actually be the case. Much of this is...

  Subtle, and Not So Subtle Red Flags The relationship seems to be developing at warp speed and while the intensity may seem exciting, if you really step back to think about it, it does not quite make sense. Often times, unhealthy relationships start out too quickly and this should give you pause to consider how whether you are setting the foundation for a healthy relationship dynamic. They want to spend all their time with you and ignore boundaries you try to set. At the other extreme, they may always put their friends and interests ahead of you. The bottom line is that time spent in a relationship should be mutually negotiated and it can be very unhealthy if you find your partner wanting to call all the shots. It is great if your partner can encourage you to grow and evolve as an individual but if you notice them consistently pointing out areas for you to improve, this may be crossing a line into an unhealthy dynamic. You and your partner ideally will respect and treat each other...

  Surprising but Effective Ways to Manage Anxiety There is certainly not a ‘one size fits all’ approach to anxiety management. It is important to be open to trying many different types of strategies, even if they sound odd or silly. It is also very important to know that you need to learn exactly how to use the tools in the right way as if you unintentionally modify it a little, you may end up subtly doing something that perpetuates your anxiety. Here are a few ideas that you can try on your own to help with anxiety management: Do an ice dive. This is a strategy from DBT to help when you are experiencing any very intense negative emotion. All mammals have what is known as a dive reflex.” When it is activated, the parasympathetic nervous system kicks in and automatically slows your heart rate and breathing and helps you calm down. The best way to activate this is by dunking your face in ice water bobbing-for-apples style, VERY briefly. Easier and more portable ways to activate the d...

  How To Keep Negative Thoughts From Ruining Your Relationship Negative thoughts can be the ultimate relationship killer. We know from research that there is a very tight feedback loop between a person’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviors so having negative thoughts can definitely send you down the rabbit hole. It is important to know your unique thought patterns that can lead to major relationship problems. For example, you may hold beliefs from early in life, or a more recent past experience, that no one can be trusted and will take advantage of you or cheat on you. You may believe you are unlovable or that you can change your partner if they love you enough. You also might notice yourself engaging in catastrophic thinking like believing everything is ruined after one argument or all or nothing thinking such as if things aren’t perfect then the whole relationship is a failure. The following is a seven step guide to stopping negative thoughts from ruining your relationship. Make a ...

  5 Signs of ‘Walking Depression Walking Depression is not an official medical term. It refers to a clinical presentation of depression that is easily disguised and which allows the sufferer to go about their daily life without anyone knowing anything is wrong. Synonyms for walking depression include high functioning depression and apparent competence. This clinical presentation can be particularly dangerous because individuals who easily disguise their depression are likely unable to get the emotional support they need. If they were able to acknowledge their feelings and express them to others, they would be able to get support but instead they are left to have a private experience of depression. It is a hidden experience and can also make people especially lonely. In fact, these depressed individuals may not even know they are depressed because they do not look like a typical person with depression and they also don’t take their experience so seriously. It is important to differe...

  How to Tell if Your Partner Resents You, and What to Do Resentment in a relationship can destroy positive feelings, respect, and warmth your partner otherwise felt toward you. Instead of being your cheerleader and biggest fan, they may start to hold you back from opportunities or activities you enjoy. Once a relationship turns competitive, it is in dark territory. Since resentment can be so detrimental to relationships, it is essential to develop an awareness of whether you are starting to feel resentful of your partner or detect if they are starting to feel resentment toward you. Often, resentment can creep up on people in an insidious way and quietly build until there’s an explosion, of sorts, and that is why it is so important to catch it early. Some early signs your partner resents you: They have the same or similar complaints repeatedly. If your partner notes that you are always staying late at work and they feel lonely, but nothing changes, resentment will likely start to s...

  5 Ways That Negativity Affects Brain Chemistry, and What to Do Our thoughts have a profound impact on our brain chemistry and basic physiology. Our bodies are programmed to respond in certain ways to different situations. Based on your appraisal of, or thought about, a given situation, your brain will have a specific chemical reaction which communicates to your body how to respond. For example, when you are faced with danger, your thought process might be “there is danger and now I need to run,” but more likely than not, the process happens more instantaneously because you have a thought about danger and your brain then takes over. Here are some specific ways that negativity can affect your brain and body: 1. Negative thinking can lead to decreased cognitive functioning. When you have emotionally charged thoughts, most often negative ones, your limbic system (the reptilian brain – the part that is not as evolved) takes over and your prefrontal cortex which is used for cognitive f...